Carlos and Robin Leopoldo, of Imperial Oaks, show their children, Noah and Caleb, how to set the table. Robin is a stay at home mother who has decided it's time to teach her young boys about table manners, in time for the holidays. Photo by David Hopper
By KIM MORGAN
Chronicle correspondent
Imperial Oaks resident Robin Leopoldo knows that kids make the holidays extra special. They make the holidays extra memorable too, but not always in the way parents want.
Nobody wants a pint-sized Grinch with terrible manners sitting at their table during a nice meal.
That's why Leopoldo, stay-home mom of Caleb, 3, and Noah, 2, recently took a good look at how her boys behaved during meal time, especially when they weren't eating at home.
"It was becoming such a headache when we went to restaurants," Leopoldo said. "They were standing up to look at people sitting behind us, wanting to run around. I thought we might never go to a restaurant again until they're 15. My husband and I talked about it and decided to look at what we're doing at home."
Leopoldo said they immediately saw they were letting the kids get up from the table - sometimes to get a toy - basically just coming and going as they wished.
The kids were having troubles because of what they weren't doing at home.
Leopoldo began teaching her boys manners.
"I would love it if they could learn it all in one shot, but they're not going to," Leopoldo said. "It's a process."
But it's not too late to start, and Spring resident Vicki Bull, and it might be more fun and more of a novelty to put your kids in a holiday etiquette class.
Bull, owner of Vicki Michelle studios on Stuebner Airline in Spring, will be teaching kids how to properly introduce themselves, converse with adults, sit through a family meal – even how to discard of something discreetly if they don't like it.
The Holiday Manners session is slated for Dec. 17-19 at The Woodlands Recreation Center, said Parks and Recreation Superintendent Linda Hughes.
"This is the first year we're doing it specifically to the holidays," Hughes said. "And we have pretty good interest already."
Girls are required to wear a dress or blouse and skirt, while boys are required to wear a collared shirt and slacks.
Parents are not allowed at the two-hour class sessions, Bull said. It's for kids ages 5-12.
"Five is a magical age, because they are little sponges and they remember everything," Bull said. "Twelve is also magical because they are more aware of the awesomeness of getting to go. They might not see it at first, though. If it's a 12-year-old boy, I promise you, someone made him go. But I've been doing this for 15 years – and even the children who were made to go loved it after the first day.
"Manners can be fun."
The number one rule breaker at the holiday table, is...well, actually there's quite a few, Bull said.
She likes to start with teaching children about "courtesy bites."
"Take a bite of everything, because someone has gone to all this trouble to create it," Bull said. "Instead of saying 'oh I don't like that,' just take a little scoop. After the courtesy bite, if you don't like it, you just literally push it around on your plate."
On the flip side, if the kids love mashed potatoes, and they see mashed potatoes on the table or at the buffet, teach them not to take a huge heaping pile.
"You're not supposed to because there needs to be enough for everybody," Bull said. "But say you do, then you take a bite, then you don't like them because it's not the way mom makes them. So now you say 'I don't like them.' Don't do that.
"Always be really conservative when you're taking it."
You can always take more but you can't put back, Bull said.
If you're in a line for finger foods, don't snack while standing there.
Robin Leopoldo, of Imperial Oaks, watches her son, Noah, how to set the dinner table. Robin is a stay at home mother who has decided it's time to teach her young boys about table manners, in time for the holidays. Photo by David HopperIf dining out, the one big difference between a restaurant and home is anything that drops on the floor of a restaurant, you "absolutely" leave it there," Bull said. "You do not pick it up. Not a napkin, not a fork whatever. You simply ask the server for another."
At somebody's home, you pick it up and ask for another.
There's the matter of too many forks, for which Bull simply tells kids to start from the outside and work their way in.
Bathroom breaks during the meal – "You can excuse yourself politely from the table," Bull said.
Belching – "simply say excuse me," Bull said. "The less said, the better."
And when the kids are done?
"In a guest's house, enjoy the company of others around you," Bull said. "You wouldn't just get up and leave."
While Bull advocates manners for all, she does advise parents to consider their children's ages and personality, but don't lowball your expectations.
"Kids," Bull said, "are more capable than you might think."
Holiday manner tips for toddlers:
- it's okay to prepare young children's plates before yours, but don't let them start eating until you sit down, or they'll be done before you get there
- if your child wants to taste someone else's food, he or she must ask. This goes for parents too – no sneaking food off your child's plate
*Robin Leopoldo
Holiday manner tips for kids:
- don't eat finger foods while going through the line
- master the "courtesy bite"
- start with the fork on the outside and work your way in
* Vicki Bull
Want to go?
What: Holiday Manners
When: Dec. 17-19, three two-hour class sessions
Where: The Woodlands Recreation Center, 5310 Research Forest Drive
Cost: $89 residents, $99 non-residents
For more information: 281-210-3900